


Infinite Harmonies

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Primeval
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-19
Updated: 2008-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-25 06:55:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1637678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cutter does what it takes to make things right in his world again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Infinite Harmonies

**Author's Note:**

> Most gracious thanks to those who encouraged, corrected, suggested and put up with me. aithine, wrenlet, themaris, silentflux and theamusedone. I don't even know how this simple story grew into 4000+ words, but I suppose it's maverick's doing since she and I seem to share the desire to "fix" the series 2 finale. Title from Clifford Pickover's _Time: A Traveler's Guide._ Cutter's world is right once more.
> 
> Written for maverick

 

 

Connor has changed. As have they all. Gone is the earnest, geeky student, replaced by a man who has seen more than most people could ever imagine, or wish to. The best and the worst of what the human race has to offer. He ranks the best with the devotion of the two men he admires most. His love for them...and their love for each other. The worst...well, he's no longer naïve enough to believe that Leek's actions are where that will end. 

He watches Nick closely these days. Afraid that one morning, he'll show up at the ARC and his mentor's seat will be empty. Forever. 

No, Connor's not the only one who has changed. Cutter is a man obsessed with the single-minded purpose of one who will not accept the hand he's been dealt. And Connor's not entirely sure that Nick won't find a way to cheat the game, at least this once. He's seen the way Nick's been haunting each anomaly they find as he digs and scrapes and searches for a way to bring Stephen back. 

Connor knows what it's like to yearn for something you'll never have and he hurts, too when he watches Cutter, day in and day out, desperate to have Stephen by his side again. They'd all seen the spark between those two and Connor had actually assumed...well, his assumptions were famous for being wrong, but he really did think...

And then there's Helen. 

He doesn't trust her further than he can spit, but Connor's convinced she's the answer to Nick's problem. Oh no...she can't comfort him or reassure him in her own feminine, mysterious way. That bridge is burned black with charred memories and betrayal. But she's been to the future and she's seen _things_. And sometimes Connor catches her watching him or Cutter as they research and experiment. Watches them with a thoughtful, knowing look on her tilted, coquettish face. 

Stephen's eight months in the ground when Connor discovers how to create an anomaly. From scratch. He doesn't have the logistics worked out so they can't determine yet where it goes, exactly, but this is too big not to tell Cutter. And how happy is he that it's him who gets to provide that first spark of hope.

He knocks anxiously at the door of Cutter's townhouse. It's really late, but Connor's aware of Cutter's reluctance to sleep these days. When the blue door swings open, sure enough, Cutter is still wearing the holey T-shirt and dirty jeans from their last mission, completed just hours ago.

"Professor Cutter...Nick, I have to talk to you." 

Nick must see the flare of excitement in Connor's eyes because he grabs Connor by the wrist and pulls him in, shutting the door firmly before leaning back against it. 

"Talk to me, Connor."

)0(

He's so afraid to believe, to trust - to hope. For eight months he's existed and gone through the motions. His brain is engaged - God, is it engaged - but his heart dies a little bit each day. 

Nick hasn't had a night yet when he doesn't have nightmares about Stephen being shredded to big bloody bits right in front of his eyes. He wakes up sobbing and screaming Stephen's name and only the whiskey he keeps by the bed gets him back to some semblance of rest. It should have been him. 

And now Connor's given him hope, God help him. He doesn't have to spell out the implications of such a discovery; they both know what this can mean. 

Helen's kept her own secrets close to her half-bared chest since Stephen's death. She'd disappeared for a few weeks, then reappeared in the Forest of Dean at the site of the first anomaly. She'd walked right through to their side, pretty as you please, just like she was part of the crew. 

There was a noticeable chill in the air when she strided right up to Nick and pulled him off to the side, away from Connor and Abby. But Nick's finally over her. She was no longer his wife in any way. He'd seen to that. Nick had stood his ground - told her whatever she had to say, she could say in front of them all. 

Helen'd glared sideways at him for a second, then smiled enigmatically, like she wasn't fazed a tad. Then she'd proceeded to explain how she'd come back to help them.

Yeah, right. 

"...and she doesn't have a clue." Nick refocuses and he realizes it's Helen that Connor's referring to. 

Nick jerks his head in quick affirmative. "Good. We know what a disaster that will be if she finds out before we're ready." There's no doubt they'll have to tell his ex when the time comes to solicit her help, but no need to poison the pot ahead of time.

"Tell me what you need from her and I'll do the negotiating." Connor nods and practically dances in place with excitement. 

It's another two months before Connor is almost positive he has a handle on the time and place of the anomalies they've been creating in secret. Nick is grainy eyed and cotton-mouthed with lack of sleep or proper nutrition and Connor's not much better. But they've gone as far as they can without Helen's help. They need to know how to alter time and go back to that day at Leek's menagerie. The day Nick lost Stephen. 

"And you discovered this on your own?" Helen smirks at Connor like she's known about the anomalies they've been creating all along. "How very clever." 

Nick hides a grin behind his hands when Connor narrows his eyes at Helen. The kid needs a thicker skin if he's going to spend any amount of time with her. 

The gears are already churning. Nick can see it in her eyes. They sparkle with schemes and plots already in the making. It makes Nick ill, but he nods at the appropriate times, agrees to whatever she wants, because he knows that's what it will take, even though he has no intention of fulfilling promises that will give Helen more power than she already holds. 

He doesn't believe for a second that Helen is helping out of love for him or concern for Stephen. He's become accustomed to the idea that Helen will always be about...Helen. But two can play that game; her agenda doesn't have to be his as long as she does what he wants. 

"Fine. Let's get to work. I want Stephen back as badly as you." Helen turns and strides out of the room, leaving Nick to interpret her words any way he wishes.

)0(

He can hardly stand the waiting. The tiny details that have to be hammered out; things that will mean the difference between having Stephen back alive or dead, or not at all. Nick seethes at every small delay and even the ever-patient Connor is starting to avoid him. Nick rarely sees Abby except for those times the klaxon sounds. He's perfectly aware she's dodging him, too. 

Finally, it's down to the minutiae of the mission. Helen's come through, after a few setbacks, with the technology for picking which anomalies go to which time periods. Connor's able to determine which of the ones around the time of Stephen's death are strongest. They've fine-tuned their search until Connor is positive that he can take Nick back to the day Stephen died. 

"You know I'm going with you, right?" Helen swings her body around, back and forth in her usual coy fashion. 

Nick doesn't hesitate for a second. "Of course." He leans over the table to gather up the papers Connor left for him to go over tonight. Helen's demand is no surprise. Plans are already in place for Abby and Connor to detain her when the time comes. 

Likewise, Nick promises, without hesitation, to go with Helen to the future when they've got Stephen back. He's become quite good at lying to his ex-wife.

He takes it as a sign of just how well Helen _doesn't_ know him anymore when she accepts his acquiescence at face-value, never once questioning his sudden about face regarding future travel and the danger of changing history. 

It's a struggle Nick has made his peace with. There are moments when a twinge of guilt pings within him, but almost immediately the memory of Stephen's last moment of life negates any doubts. He's spoken at length to Helen about their chances of changing more than just Stephen's death. 

"You really have no idea what I've been talking about all these months, have you?" Helen's lips curl unevenly into a lopsided grin and her eyes sparkle as she warms to her favorite subject. "Nick, I'd returned to the past and visited the future a dozen times before you even discovered the anomalies. If we're thorough with our research and plan carefully, nothing will change." She seems so positive, confidence lacing every word. And there is the added bonus of just how much Nick wants to believe her.

Finally, even Jenny throws her hands up as she tries unsuccessfully, using every conceivable argument in her quite impressive repertoire, to get Nick to think about the implications of changing the future once he starts playing around with the past. She turns his own words back on him. "You can't disrupt the perfect balance of random selection." But, she seems to know the battle's already lost.

Nick simply stares at her-almost through her-with that blank look he gets when there's really nothing left to say. He's willing to risk much more than some ephemeral future he'll never see if it means having Stephen with him in the here and now. 

He tries to ignore Helen's smirk of satisfaction. 

It seems appropriate that it's the anniversary week of Stephen's death when they plan the first attempt. 

It's completely fucked from the get go. Abby has a flat tire on the way to meet them, thus failing at the plan to stop Helen from joining Nick. Then when Nick and Helen exit the circle of sparkling shards into the boiler room of the building, it's just in time to watch Stephen be ripped to shreds all over again. 

No amount of whiskey can put Nick to sleep that night and it's a good three days before he'll even answer his mobile, anomalies and _plateosauruses_ be damned.

Connor takes another week to figure out how their calculations had been off, discovering that time has shifted slightly in the new past and he's finally able to adjust his instruments to accommodate the new temporal line. This time their back-up plan has a back-up plan and it's with a deep sigh of satisfaction and no little relief that Nick steps through the anomaly alone and into the dark corner of the room where he sees himself sitting on the stairs waiting for Helen and Stephen to walk by. Perfect.

The plan has always been to remain hidden from any of the past crew. It's that criteria that has Nick dead against Helen joining him from the beginning. He knows her well enough to realize she can't be trusted to stay in the shadows. The potential for mischief and intrusion is just too great. Despite throwing his own fears of changing the past by the wayside, Nick is still aware of the potential dangers of what they're doing. He prefers to interfere as little as possible. The irony does not escape him.

Nick presses back into the dark corner and watches _himself_ , head in hands. He's just left Leek to the tender mercies of several dozen crazed carnivores. The urge is strong to go and comfort. To tell him that no matter how things seem, they will work out. Instead, he makes himself smaller as he hears the voices of Helen and Stephen echoing down the corridor, coming towards them.

It's almost too easy for Nick to circle around and duck into one of the feeding room's alcoves before the team ever runs through, pressing the red button on their way. 

He stands quietly watching as Helen is dragged through the door just as the animals begin to enter the hallways, answering their dinner bell. In retrospect, Nick thinks if he could do it all again, he'd let Helen go right then and there. 

But that's a lie. Because he does have it to do over and that isn't the route he's chosen. 

He has to bite his lip and clench his fists so he won't jump out and stop Stephen from re-entering the room. The trampling sounds of paws and claws are growing louder and all he has to do is stay very still and wait. Nick consciously stops himself from watching the horrified expression on his own face through the porthole in the door. 

With a deft step to the side and into the room, he uses the box provided by Connor, which looks much like something from an old sci-fi movie, to create the anomaly. The sabre tooth is beginning to circle Stephen and the raptors are losing patience. 

Nick hefts his backpack more securely on his shoulder and calls out. "Stephen!" 

He barely has a second to register the shocked look on Stephen's face before the scorpion wraps an antennae around his ankle, pulling him down. All hell breaks lose as the giant cat-like creature rushes and Nick grips Stephen's wrists and pulls them both into the dancing lights of the anomaly. 

)0(

They land in a pile of limbs along a cliff's rocky ledge. Stephen is still expecting to feel the burning tear of flesh by prehistoric claws. He's dazed, but distinctly remembers seeing _two_ Nicks just before things went fuzzy, one of whom was in the feeding room _with_ him.

There's a hand on the back of his head and a heavy weight across his legs. 

"Stephen? Stephen, are you all right? For Christ's sake, Stephen, say something." 

He'd know that guttural brogue anywhere. "Cutter...Nick, how did you...umph!" Nick's elbow ground into Stephen's side as he tried to roll over. Next thing Stephen knows, two large, ruddy hands are framing his face and he's gazing into Nick's wide blue eyes.

"Are you alive?" Funny, Stephen is wondering the same thing, himself.

Before Stephen can answer, however, Nick closes the few inches of distance between them and is kissing Stephen like the world is ending. Stephen's not sure if he opens his mouth for Nick in an effort to protest or accept the kiss. Either way, the result is the same. He's being pressed back onto jagged rocks that are digging pits into his shoulder blades and doesn't really give a flying fuck. Because Nick saved him and Nick is kissing him and the only thing that matters in his world right now...is Nick. 

Some moments later, Stephen is allowed to breathe. Nick raises himself up and pulls Stephen with him. His hands are moving urgently over Stephen's body, presumably to assure himself that nothing is broken. When Nick finally finishes at Stephen's shoulders, he pulls him in and holds him tightly. Stephen can only stand there, still a bit befuddled, but quite clear on the fact that Nick is really very, very happy to see him. 

Stephen extricates himself from Nick's embrace and tries to step back. He stops at the unmistakable sound of crumbling rocks beneath his feet and skirts off to the side, pulling Nick with him, away from the edge of the cliff.

"You want to tell me what's happening?" Stephen scans the horizon-a vista of scorched rock and blistering desert. Silurian period again, he guesses and makes sure they're well back onto the rocks. He's really starting to dislike sand.

Nick just stares at Stephen, open-mouthed and dazed looking, himself. "You're really alive."

"It would appear so, thanks to you." Stephen's grin slides off when he remembers the last few seconds in the feeding room. "But, you were outside the door. I saw you watching me, and then you were in there with me." 

Nick's gaze skitters off to the side and realization begins to dawn. "Nick, what did you do?" 

)0(

With explanation in hand, Stephen has now moved from befuddled to dazed. That Nick cares for him, even after the Helen revelation, he knew. Stephen's self-aware enough to admit that there'd always been a certain amount of sexual tension between the two of them. He'd chalked it up to student/mentor infatuation and just continued to have Nick's back at every turn and be content with simply watching from a distance. 

That distance has just decreased tremendously, as Nick crowds right into Stephen's personal space like the concept doesn't exist. 

"I don't expect you to understand, Stephen. I hope that you do. Had to do this once we'd discovered how to create the anomalies." Nicks hands rove non-stop up Stephen's arms, cupping his face, then down his chest. 

"Nick, wait," Stephen's chasing after Nick's hands, clamps them in his own and holds their closed fists against his chest. The heat from Nick's body radiates and Stephen runs his tongue across his bottom lip.

"I understand, I really do! I just need to make sure. Know I'm reading this right." Stephen knows there's hope and fear and love all showing on his face and in his eyes. 

In answer, Nick extracts his hands from Stephen's grip and lays them on his hips. He's wormed warm fingers beneath Stephen's muddy brown T-shirt and the feel of Nick's calluses scraping lightly over the sensitive skin of his abdomen raises goose bumps on Stephen's arms, despite the heat of the desert. 

Nick swallows the sigh that escapes through Stephen's lips, tentative but firm, dry and questioning. Stephen pulls back a fraction of an inch and licks his lips again before pulling Nick in to him. This time the kiss is real and urgent and everything Stephen knew it would be. 

The wind picks up and Stephen realizes that Nick's let his hair grow, because he feels the wisps of blond stroking his cheek like a lover's caress. Nick feels lighter, more slight in Stephen's arms, as well, and it slams home to him just what Nick has been going through. 

The kiss deepens and Stephen is letting his body slide to the ground, pull Nick down with him until they're on their knees facing each other, still kissing, groping at buttons and tugging on faded cotton until they're both bare from the waist up. 

The sun beats down on Stephen's shoulders and he moans against Nick's lips. He slides his mouth along the stubbly jawline and then down to suck at the pulse hammering along Nick's neck. Nick is making frantic noises of frustration now, fumbling at Stephen's belt until he growls and finally yanks the leather free of its buckle. 

"I know, Nick. It's okay now. I'm here. Not dead. We're here, together." Stephen mumbles against Nick's hot skin, but stops to gasp when he feels Nick's hand slide down the front of his pants, stroking awkwardly in the confined area. 

Stephen doesn't even realize he takes control, but he's not willing for Nick to fumble the rest of his clothes off, so he sits back on his heels and spreads out their shirts on the sun-baked rocks, then stands to shed his boots, jeans, and underwear.

Nick seems startled but quickly gets with the programme and in less than a moment, they're both laying naked, twined limbs and sucking lips shooting Stephen right into an overload of senses. He's wanked off to images of Nick more times than he can count. Tried taking home mates from the pub with sandy hair and laughing blue eyes. None of it holds a candle to the real thing. 

Stephen lets his hands roam freely, encouraged by the sounds Nick's making and the feel of Nick's tongue lapping at his chest, teasing his nipples before traveling farther down to dip into his belly button. 

He can feel his cock pressed up against Nick's chin and holds his breath, waiting. Nick's hot breath ghosts over him, tickling in the best way possible. 

"Please, Nick. Stop teasing and suck me." Stephen has three seconds to realize those are words he'd never thought he'd say out loud before the feel of Nick's mouth on him causes Stephen to buck his hips and lose all cognitive reasoning. "Yeah, fuck, Nick, like that!" 

He'd never have guessed that Nick would be so good at sucking cock, but God, Stephen is glad he is. His fingers tighten in the strands of Nick's hair that are falling around his face and the idea that this is really happening is almost enough to send him over right then. As it is, Stephen still feels like he comes faster than he's ever done before. He tries to warn Nick, tugging at his head, but Nick only grows more determined and finally Stephen gives up and lets the waves of orgasm wash through him until his toes curl. He throws an arm over his eyes and groans loudly. He's become a cliché for every bad sex scene ever written. 

Nick slithers back up and resumes kissing and Stephen can't get enough of their mingled tastes, so hot and tangy. He spreads his legs so Nick can settle into the groove along his hip. Nick's slick and burning up, but all Stephen can do is bury his face into Nick's shoulder and hold him tight. His hands cup Nick's ass and the firm flesh is so soft compared to the rest of his body. He squeezes Nick to him and matches the rhythm Nick's set. 

"Yeah, come on, Nick. Come for me now." 

And Nick does. 

)0(

The sun is setting and the temperature's dropped at least ten degrees by the time they begin to rouse. Stephen uses his T-shirt to clean them up best he can and there's no way he's putting it back on. With nothing else to cover him and the wind starting to sting, Stephen reminds himself where, and when, they are. 

"We have to go back, Nick." 

Nick humphs into Stephen's neck and let's his hand slide over Stephen's bare stomach. "I know," he mumbles. 

"Will we go back through to the feeding room? Is it safe?" 

Nick's scientist brain kicks in and Stephen can tell as he's reluctantly pulling himself up and getting dressed. "No, we won't go back through there. We're taking another." 

They'd planned the rescue to the tiniest detail. One and a half clicks to the east was another anomaly that Connor was going to open and leave for them to return through. They will come out about ten kilometres from the ARC and just a few blocks from Nick's apartment. With Leek still dead and the animals contained, at least temporarily, the team will continue just as if Stephen had never died. 

That's the plan. 

Nick pulls his boots on and looks up through the bright rays of the setting sun, shielding his eyes with one hand. Stephen's in front of him looking off in the distance, partially blocking the light, but all Nick can make out is his silhouette. He'll know that profile in a million years and he'd rewrite the past twice that to have Stephen back.

"Ready?"

Stephen nods and shifts around until he faces Nick. "Thank you," he says and pulls Nick in for one last kiss before they head across the rocky crags for home. 

Nick is more than a little relieved to see the anomaly exactly where it's supposed to be. Connor's proved himself over and over, but Nick admits to himself he has been holding his breath the last little bit. 

The two of them stop and stare at the rotating prisms of the anomaly, like they can see what's on the other side without going through. Stephen's about to take a step forward when Nick pulls him back, his hand clasped tightly around Stephen's. 

No words are necessary as Stephen turns again into Nick's arms and they share a last kiss before returning to their current world. Neither has spoken of what will happen between them now, but Nick's not worried. They'll face Helen, Lester, and the rest just like they have for the last ten years. Together. 

Nick pulls away and then averts his eyes from the look in Stephen's face. They have to go back through to those who are waiting for them and all he wants to do is lay Stephen back down on the rocks and have him again. 

"Come on, we'd best be going back now." 

Stephen nods and they step through together - into a world they've never seen before. 

They're on a concrete street marbled with cracks and large, open fissures. Nick turns slowly until his back is to Stephen and surveys the landscape before them. It's London all right, because there's a rusty, barely hanging sign for the Underground. But it's a London that hasn't seen civilization in several hundred years if Nick's guess is right. 

Steel and glass buildings are corroded and broken. Several blocks of townhouses are now just dilapidated ruins of brick and mortar. Vines are holding most of them together that are still standing. These are not just the signs of neglect. It's abandonment...or extinction.

"Nick," Stephen breathes out his name and Nick reaches back and grabs his hand. 

"I don't know, Stephen." He answers the unasked question. It seems to be the same time of day here as it was when they left the past and it won't be long until full dark sets in. They'll need a place to rest while trying to figure this out. 

Once more they are two halves of a whole, working in unison as they always have. Stephen looks off in his direction and tugs on Nick's hand. "Over there." He points to a small cottage set off from the street with a courtyard out front. There are shops on either side, all of which have been destroyed and ransacked, but the cottage managed to remain intact. 

Once they're inside, Nick realizes it's not in as good a shape as they'd thought, but it's a roof over their heads that's likely not to fall down around them. He follows Stephen through the small, low ceiling rooms and all of sudden has the overpowering urge to say something that will head off the one discussion he does not want to have with Stephen.

"Wait. Come 'ere, Stephen. I need to tell you something and then we're not going to talk about it any more." 

Stephen twists his head and looks back at Nick curiously, but returns to where Nick's standing. Nick resists the urge to smile at Stephen's hand on his shoulder. Already it's hard for either of them to keep their hands to themselves. 

"I don't know exactly where we are...or when. But you need to know this and not fight me on it. It's done and we have no idea where it's going to lead. But, Stephen," and he can't help but pull Stephen into his arms, resting his chin on Stephen's shoulder. "Stephen, you have to know. Knowing what happens. Knowing this is what it costs. I'd do it all over again to save you."

Stephen steps out of Nick's arms and regards him intently. A couple of times it looks like he's about to open his mouth, but he holds his lips together firmly. Finally, an interminate amount of time later, he jerks his head at Nick and turns around and walks into the kitchen. 

Nick stands alone in the lounge, his hands fisted at his side and says a silent prayer for the human race. He spares Jenny, Abby, Connor and Helen a moment, not knowing if they died...or were ever even born. They shall be properly mourned by both he and Stephen at some point in the future, but for now, the implications...the consequences of their - no - _his_ actions must be accounted for and dealt with.

Thank heaven and all the saints, Nick has Stephen and they'll keep doing like they've always done. Solving the mysteries of the world, together. 

 


End file.
